Kavka and the Doll: Loving Through Change

Jewish Czech author Franz Kafka was walking in the park one day when he came upon a little girl, crying because she lost her beloved doll. In an attempt to console the crying girl, he told her he would be on the look out for the doll and made plans to meet her the next day in the same park. The next day, just as promised, Kafka met the little girl by the benches with a note “from the doll” that read: “Please do not mourn me, I have gone on a trip to see the world. I will write you of my adventures.” And so it began; every so often the little girl and Kafka would meet, and he would hand her a new letter, telling her it was from her doll.

As the little girl grew into a young woman, her meetings with Kafka became less frequent and eventually ceased. The last time she ever saw him, he gifted her a doll. Clearly different from her beloved doll she lost, the last letter given to her with the doll detailed how her travels changed her. One day, as she was reminiscing, the woman turned the doll over and noticed one final note in Kafka’s handwriting that read, “Everything that you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form.”*

It is true, the things – and people – we love come and go and change over time. It is a natural part of life to change and evolve, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. We have read in our last few Torah portions the mistakes of humans, the changes from innocent to worldly, curious to greedy, lost to found. When people change in the Torah, we have seen God decide to start creation over, believing there is no coming back. Do we have to start completely over or can we continue to love through change?

With people we love, we might lose them in one way or another. They may change. In fact, they will change over time. However we can choose to see them through their changes. To love unconditionally. We learn from Pirkei Avot 5:16, “All that depends on something, when that something ceases, the love ceases, but a love that does not depend on anything will endure forever.”

Our love for our spouses, partners, parents, children, and friends can endure forever if we choose to love freely, unconditionally, and without abandon. This Shabbat, I am thinking about how I can embrace the changes in those I love so I can better love them. Everything we love will eventually change, and may even be lost in some way, but as long as we love without conditions, love will endure different forms.

With love from my family to yours this Shabbat,
Ranata Shlobin, Rabbinic Intern

*Based on retelling by Tom Phelan of Far Out Magazine and Max Preston Kennedy of Offer What You Can Yoga